Congratulations! You've found the man you want to share your life with. Hopefully he's supportive, understanding, your best friend. But as the big day looms nearer, you'll need other people too, close friends who you can rely on, who can help to lighten the load. So who will you ask?

How to choose your maid of honour

More than just a bridesmaid, your maid (or matron) of honour will be willing to take on some extra responsibilities. She will be your closest friend, perhaps your sister. She'll need to be supportive of the marriage, and get on well with the groom! It helps if your maid of honour is organised, helpful, and lives nearby. She'll be a listening ear through the ups and downs of wedding preparations, stand by your side during the ceremony, and probably cry when you say your vows (though that's not an essential duty).

What you're asking her to do

Before the wedding

• Help with wedding planning (if appropriate), such as researching venues, florists, caterers and dresses
• Plan the hen party
• Ensure the other bridesmaids know what they are doing, including dress fittings etc.
• She might volunteer to help with invitations, accommodation for guests, etc.
• Be there to listen when you're stressed or you've got cold feet, and calm you down

On your wedding day and at the reception

• Hold the bouquet during the ceremony
• Carry your train (if you have one)
• Be on hand to touch up hair and make up and sort out your dress
• Make sure you get something to eat and drink throughout the day

How many bridesmaids?

You might have lots of close female friends that you want to be part of your day. When thinking about how many bridesmaids to have, remember the cost both to you and to them! You could cut costs by having them wear their own dresses, or share the costs of shoes, jewellery, hair dressers etc. Remember that 'wedding' prices are often inflated... try to find suitable dresses from the high street- they don't have to come from a special shop!

Choose bridesmaids who get on well together, and who you can rely on to be helpful, punctual, and supportive, and cheerful... and they'll add a lot to your wedding day.

What you're asking them to do:

• Help with shopping for dresses, accessories, flowers, etc.
• Help the maid of honour to plan the hen party, and chip in to cover the cost
• Help the bride dress (and stay calm) before the ceremony
• Provide moral support at all times
• Be social at the reception. Be on hand to help the ushers with tasks, help the guests feel welcomed, and help to get the party going!